A loser’s Irish tale!

This is a follow-up to my blog titled: Arranging for a life partner so I would encourage you to read that blog first before reading this one.

Following the traditions of a conventional arranged marriage setup, an introverted loser (he/him) was presented with an extroverted “potential match” (she/her) in November 2020. They resided in two different continents around 6000 kms apart. While “what a small world!” may be an often-used adage, it’s certainly not applicable to a pandemic-ridden world where merely hopping to an adjacent city or county was a struggle! As a result, the loser’s interactions with the potential match were restricted to the now widely accepted world of video and voice calls.

Initially, these virtual interactions went well — the girl’s energy would rub onto the loser, and they would end up having some pleasant conversations. During these interactions, the loser was convinced that she was the one but was fully aware that this spark was not mutual and he was merely one of the many creatures she frequently interacted with. Even though the potential match seemed out of his league, the loser reminded himself that most things he has achieved over the recent past seemed out of reach at first and decided to give it a shot! As time passed, fatigue crept in and these interactions became an additional burden in the potential match’s already stressful life. To alleviate this burden, they decided to “take it easy” until they get an opportunity to meet in-person. During this cool-off period, the loser had almost brought his personal life to a standstill in anticipation of accomplishing his various goals and bucket list items in the future with the potential match in tow.

The COVID-19 gods finally decided to show some mercy in January 2022 and the two ended up meeting in one of the world’s best beer cities, Dublin, Ireland. Before this trip, the loser had dreamt of holding her hands while exploring the beautiful streets of Dublin, having a cozy meal at a rooftop restaurant, and watching a movie together while chilling in the hotel’s comfy bed. However, this couldn’t be further from the reality. When they both first met in the hotel, the potential match wasn’t exuding the same energy as before and as a result, the two never really hit it off. Instead of holding hands, the potential match would drift a foot away even if their knuckles brushed past accidentally while walking. This lack of spark may have been due to certain worldly pressures bestowed upon her and/or she may have been simply unimpressed by the loser’s overall demeanor. By now, the loser had gathered that things will likely not work out with the potential match. One evening, while seated near the Spire of Dublin, the loser had the following thoughts as the potential match avoided making eye contact during a casual conversation: “I am a decent guy. Why can’t I make her mine? What can I do to make her mine?” If I was around the loser, my response to these questions would have been: “You tried everything within your might to make her yours but it just wasn’t meant to be. Time to pack your bags and move onto bigger and better things in life!” On the trip’s last day, while having breakfast in the hotel, the girl explicitly mentioned that she doesn’t want to move forward with the relationship. The loser wasn’t surprised but was shattered nonetheless. The two exchanged a few pleasantries and then departed after a hug. The loser sprinted to his room right after this hug as he believes that the world doesn’t deserve to see his tears! While packing his bags to leave for the airport, the loser’s eyes glanced over the chocolates gifted by the potential match on the first day. Even though the airline offered a generous baggage allowance, the loser’s heart couldn’t bear the gift’s weight and he decided to leave it behind for the housekeeping staff — even they deserve a smile during these unprecedented times!

It has been a few weeks since this story unfolded but the loser still thinks of the potential match sometimes. The loser’s near and dear ones are furious when they hear this story and question why the potential match agreed to meet in Dublin if she had already decided the faith of the relationship. The loser jokingly asks them to consider forming a court comprising of a panel of matchmakers (Google it if you aren’t aware of this fascinating profession!) so that he could file a lawsuit against the potential match to seek compensation for the financial costs incurred and the mental agony caused! On a more serious note, the loser has no regrets and is grateful for at least spending two days with her, if not the rest of his life. He wishes the potential match all the very best in all spheres of her life and he continues the search for a match which could at least be an iota of how good this potential match was.

In my opinion, there are two takeaways from this story. First: Give every relationship (and everything else in life!) your absolute best shot. If things don’t seem to work out, simply back off with your self-respect, pride and dignity intact; Second: Every relationship is a two-way street. If you come across a one-way street, simply drive past and look for an alternate two-way street. There is simply no point in entering the one-way street only to have to reverse upon hitting a roadblock. I hope my smart readers will understand this analogy😊

Cheers!